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DEADLY THOUGHTS – PART ONE

When a building falls apart, you rebuild it, construct it back together but better and stronger.

When your house of cards fall apart, you rebuild it, construct it back together, but better and stronger.

When your heart breaks and you fall apart, you gotta rebuild it, construct yourself back together, but better and stronger.

This topic is a very deep one. Nonetheless, an important one.

The thoughts and feelings of dying is just a thought and a feeling away. It’s not the type of moment where you have a thought process to go with it.

It’s the type of moment where the thought comes instantly and doesn’t go away.

This post is not going to be something where I’m going to advise you on what to do. I can’t.  Because suicidal thoughts aren’t something you can actually control. Thoughts aren’t something that can be cured, but they can be tamed.

You wake up one day and you feel you’re not worth anything to anyone. Nothing is going right. Everything you do turns into a mess. No one believes in you. You feel no one loves you. You feel you’re stuck with a curse of bad luck. You try and try everyday to get up and do something but you feel it won’t matter because no cares about you.

And at the end of this, suicidal thoughts are all that emerges in your mind because you feel if you aren’t here anymore, you’ll either be making everyone’s lives better or that no one cares you’re gone because you have put yourself at the bottom of the earth’s grave.

You can’t just put yourself at the bottom of the pedestal all the time. I understand that sometimes we do put ourselves down, we do tell ourselves we aren’t worth it. We do tell ourselves that we aren’t loved and cared for.

Remember, the root to suicidal thoughts doesn’t necessarily come from self worth. It does come from our environment. A reaction to an action.

If we perform a job poorly and get beat down for it, the negativity will follow you unless you are strong enough to not take it to heart. If we get hurt, the action of rejection will follow you unless you break it down. If we do a thousand things for someone and you get no recognition or anything in return, the action of not being cared for will follow you unless you crush it down.

Any negative external action will cause an internal thought of death for someone going through depression.

We just got to tame them, friends.

Crush something if it’s beating you. Break something that’s hurting you. Fight something that’s killing you. Because you’re life is far more important than the outside world.

Of course we hear it all the time that our lives are so precious and we should never commit suicide as it is a sin and if you need help talk to someone. That’s all true, but again, thoughts are hard to cure. Tame them slowly, day by day. And remind yourself: you will always be important.

You may feel like it’s the end of the world for you that you want to end your world, but remember, there’s always a great story that lies ahead of you. Because you have a purpose. We all have a tale, live it far to a point where you can tell them to the world, for the better. Just hang on.

The times where you tell yourself that you cant see the light at the end of the tunnel, where there is no where to go and you see a dead end and you decide to just end it. Remember, the tunnel is always dark. You won’t get a bright tunnel. Just like life; there is no straight path to anything, you will always encounter ups and downs, twists and curves and sharp turns. The light will only show up when you act upon a change. Dig a hole in the ground or up against the wall when you see a dead end, and keep going. You’ll see the light eventually. Why? Because at the end of every darkness, there’s always a spark of light. 

Ghuman

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YOUR ROAD

“I get it, everyone goes through crap in life. Everyone is fighting against a struggle and trying to become a better person, or in fact trying to make their world a better place for themselves. Everyone is going after the main hustle and that is trying to make the top dollar for a better living for them. But sometimes trying to make a better living for yourself is the ultimate failure. How can you really justify success? You can’t. It’s different for everyone, but everyone wants to be better than the person their standing next to. Everyone is trying to fight for status, for popularity, for more women or men, for more friends; real or fake, for more lust than love, for more lies than truths, for deceits than honesty. People are stabbing their friends, family and even strangers just to get ahead. Everyone is in it to win by killing themselves, for all of that? What happened? I have no care in the world for a luxurious life, having money to spend on useless things and eating at fancy places. Or having a posse or having people kiss my feet. We, are not in that race; We want to have an unwounded soul, to create a happy mind, a smooth road with pure love. We want to share happiness and spread it. We want to share the richness we are all afraid to tap into in our minds, body and soul. Upsetting that it’s hard from where we are standing at right now. This is a cruel chaotic world. But, you see that light up ahead? That’s the ultimate goal. For us to reach there, soulfully.”

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interpret my painting however you wish

Ghuman